So today I got to ride the train during extreme rush hour. I have never been so squished in my life! ^_^
There was however, one bright spot on that little adventure.
There was a lovely younger gentleman (about my age) standing right in front of me and we were forced to stand quite, quite close. Fortunately, he was wearing a jacket with a rather large hood and I was able to snuggle right into it and close my eyes! It was so nice and warm! I did, however, almost nestle right into the poor kids neck, I was so comfy! :P
Usually I have a strong aversion to leaning on people in the train (as well as any physical contact with living things in general) but today, I was so tired and warm that I just went for it.
I might have to make this a regular thing!
Haha!
Anyways, all that to say that riding the train here is never boring and I am sure to have many more stories (albeit better, more interesting ones)!!!
Snuggle Fest!
# 1
Sometimes I feel exactly like this:
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here
She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Today is not one of those days. Today I just feel lonely.
I can deal with lonely. I can't deal with feeling like a creep.
So yay for lonely!
しげーくん。。。
このおとこわ しげーくん!
Yeah, so before I got too ahead of myself, I thought I should probably introduce you all to this guy. He is another staff member that I will be working with for the next couple of years. He arrived in Japan about a month before I did. He is a pretty cool kid, so yippe!
^_^
Japan Staff Conference 2009!
Yay!
I finally got home after a 3 day long staff conference.
We had to drive 8 hours to get there and then 8 hours to get back.
That was an adventure and a half.
I did have a great time, however.
I met some great people and although we work at different bases, I am really looking forward to getting to know them more.
I have already made plans to have sushi with a lady that is going to teach me Chinese!
And I was invited, along with another staff member, to visit another base so we could all eat okonomiyaki (おこのみやき - vegetable pancake) together! Woot!
Although we did have a few long and boring meetings...
We also played games and had fun.
We stayed at an onsen (おんせん - bathhouse) but luckily I did not have to use the baths.
Oh! And in the morning we got to go to a gathering with the other people staying there and do morning exercises, and that was totally awesome!
Although I am glad to be back in Tokyo cause we still have a lot to do to get ready for our DTS, I am super duper happy that I got to spend those few days meeting everyone!
^_^
ぢのちゃんです!!!
Alrighty everyone!
There is something amazing here in Japan.
They are pajamas.
Make no mistake, however, these are no ordinary pajamas.
They are on a whole other level.
I almost wasn't going to buy them, but I found the perfect ones!
Hooray for pajamas.
And hooray for dinosaurs!!
"inapt, incompetent; incommensurate; defective, imperfect, incomplete"
Inadequacy is such a nasty feeling.
But it is that very feeling that haunts my thoughts at this moment.
I always find the people around me vastly more talented than I am.
And that is my own fault. I never try. Never put my heart into anything.
Never had any real dreams. And I usually don't care. Don't mind in the slightest.
But tonight. Tonight I feel inadequate on a painful level.
Why can't I just try? Just a little bit?
I should be motivated to make myself better. But I just am not.
I am so happy to just sit and watch those around me flourish.
And I want them to flourish. But I want something else as well.
I want to be remembered. Not because I did something really great.
I want to have something to offer. Something not easily forgotten.
I don't have that. I just don't.
I just want people to remember me. I am so afraid of being forgotten.
Lost in the shuffle. Alone and inadequate.
And I don't want to sit here in self pity. Only self evaluation.
Not self loathing. Only self under-appreciation.
Not a feeling of anger. Only that of deep sadness.
I am being childish. Sometimes I really feel my age. And I hate that.
Everyone around me is just amazing. They are.
And I don't belong. Not yet. And I hate that feeling.
I really do. Cause now I know for sure.
Here. In this place. At this time. I am...
Inadequate.
Something Wicked This Way Comes
Something black creeped up inside me today.
Something dark was lurking inside me today.
Something curious.
Something unpleasant.
And warped. It twisted inside my mind.
Something foul swirled beneath the surface today.
Something wrong.
It engulfed my heart. I tasted it in my throat.
It crawled its way toward my eyes. I was spinning.
What was it? This blackness?
Jealousy? Nervousness?
Yes.
This jealous darkness. Squirming within me.
Unfortunate as it is. Necessary perhaps.
For me to see. That it was there waiting.
And now. This twisted feeling.
Is gone.
Thank you. For someone's words. For their thoughts.
Thank you. For your patience. For your love.
Thank you. For being You. For letting me be me.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Harajuku on Random Selector
みんあ! げんきですか??
わたしも!! フレイ!! ＾＿＾
* * * * * * *
Well, that is if you all answered yes! >_< Anyways! Today I went to a place called Harajuku (原宿). This is the place that I feel most called to. We went to a famous Japanese park called Yoyogi Park (代々木) It was totally exciting to go today because, while we went yesterday as well, it was rainy so there were not many people.
Today it was full of people and walking around was so much more enjoyable! We saw many people, some of which are featured in the picture above^^. I was even able to use my limited Japanese to ask a lady what in the world they were doing! Hooray!
Some kids from another YWAM base are doing their DTS outreach here in Japan and are staying with us for the last couple weeks before they head back to their base in Australia. The two guys were able to play their guitars in the park and talk to some of the people through that. The rest of us mostly just walked around and took pictures and what not. Over all it was a really fun day at the park.
Later in the evening, however, we went to a special worship service at a church called Shibuya Harvest. On the wall was the Christian and Missionary "symbol" I guess you would call it, so that was fun! There were a couple guests at the service, some doing a tamborine dance and and Enka Trio. Enka is a traditional for of Japanese music, but most people (including most Japanese people even) do NOT like it. I, however, LOVE it (go figure). If you are interested at all in what Enka sounds like, follow this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36m5Esyd5o8&feature=related
Anyways, all that to say that it was a great service and the pastor (or speaker cause I am not entirely sure he is the pastor) was really good. The three singers were very talented and very into what they call "Gospel Enka" and that was awesome! All in all, today was a great day with a lot to share! >_<
The Cave that is My Soul
I went there today.
And I met my Jesus there.
And He sat with me and marveled at the beauty of it.
The quiet of it.
And God put His hand on my head and told me loved this cave.
This soul.
It is calm and warm and comfortable.
Too comfortable.
And I felt a pull. To lift my head away from the cool and quiet.
And look toward the light at the far end.
A small journey and then I would be free of this cave.
Free of this comfort.
Free in God.
I might miss this cave that is my soul. I might.
But I just might be missing out on something far better if I stay.
And no matter what or where.
No matter.
My Jesus will come. He loves that cave, He does.
But He loves me more.
So he will be with me.
And I will live by this:
"Come on, loosen up Judas!"
A new aquaintance
Okay, so this lovely little lady shown with me in the picture is my new roomate Lydia!!!
Woot woot!
She has been taking me all over the city, showing me around the bus station, buying me food [cause she is awesome like that], taking me to church and music battling with me!!!
[you'll just have to use your imagination about the last one]
I am having a good time and slowing getting adjusted to life over here. It is gonna be an adventure and a half and I am looking forward to it [and to sharing it with you all]!!! >_<
The day after...
So...
As far as jetlag is concerned, I am home free! Although bouts of tiredness have not affected me, I have had bouts of... well, the need to color...
Here we are >>>
Yeah... so that adorable little guy over there is my new character. He is, well, he is my character for me! Yay! That is a little illustration of my fun time at the airport!
...to be continued...
The never ending plane excursion!
Alrighty!
So, after getting stuck on the pass, almost not getting my visa in time, three days of travel, sleeping in the airport and then a two hour drive to my new lodgings...
I AM FINALLY HERE!
Hooray!
<<< Me after sleeping in the airport all night... fun...
Anyways, now I am all settled in, kind of [we will have to move soon as we are in temporary housing still] and I am starting to find my way around the city which is an adventure in and of itself! ^_^
...to be continued...
I'm leavin' on an jetplane~
よしゃ！
さよなら、みんあ！
さよなら！！！
* * * * * * *
Well... almost anyways!!!
I am now set to leave on the 5th of March!!! Hooray!
I have my visa all ready to pick up and my plane tickets are purchased!!!
I am super duper excited, more than a little nervous of course, but excited none the less! ^_^
I am still packing, unfortunately, but thanks to Pam and Alicia, it is getting done! Yay for them!
It's been fun, everyone, but I am off to start the new adventure-like chapter of my life!
バイ バイ！！！
